Dr. Asiya Staff asked 2 weeks ago
My father is a salaried worker living a modest life. He spent his earnings to educate us, and now I am capable of earning for the family. As a daughter, I know it is not my religious obligation (Fard) to provide financially, but I do so to fulfill my parents' dreams.
I have received a proposal from a person who is both religious and financially stable. My father accepted the proposal, but his mindset is that I must continue to earn for him regardless. Consequently, he isn't truly ready to let me marry. This is the same pattern he followed with my elder sister; he intentionally avoided finding a good proposal for her, and now her age is passing, and she lives a stressful life.
How should one deal with a parent who fails to acknowledge their children as individuals with their own separate ambitions, desires, and lives?
1 Answers
Dr. Asiya Staff answered 2 weeks ago
Yes, you are absolutely right. You will find cases like this in many places where, despite being parents, people make their own interests their "god." They come up with many excuses, just like the case you described where your father wants his daughters to remain unmarried so they can keep earning for him.
Here is what you should do: You and your sister need to actively look for proposals yourselves. Give your father the "illusion" that you will continue to provide for him; you have already discussed that the future arrangement will be set up this way. Later, once you are married, take your husband into confidence if you still wish to help out.
Both of you are educated, so you must step forward yourselves. Otherwise, the loss will be yours. Your father is already getting everything he needs, but your lives and ages will pass you by. You will have to exert some pressure and make everything clear.
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