Dr. Asiya Staff asked 1 week ago
1- I am a 3rd-semester architectural engineering student. I am facing many difficulties in university. I have a very soft corner for people, and when I show respect to others and don't insult anyone, some classmates taunt me by saying, "Are you some kind of angel?"
I am very introvert and shy. I can talk to people individually, but the moment I have to speak in front of a crowd—when a teacher asks a question in class or during a presentation—I get nervous. I know the answer, but I forget it. This makes me so depressed that sometimes I even think about quitting my degree… but this is my dream and my parents' dream too.
*Please help me get rid of this fear. I try very hard, but I still can't overcome it.
2- I want to leave that places where people are gossiping or backbiting about others but how when these people are our closed ones?
3- My mother is depression patient since last 25 years and she is taking medicines for this. But sometimes her behavior is so rude she always pointing out negative aspects. If someone is doing good she ignore it and point out the negativity from it. In future her behavior can be effecting my life after marriage.I counselled her but it doesn't effect as she has old school of thought and also she had not proper schooling (in other words not any academic background). How I counsel my mother respectfully? I love her so much but i want to change her behavior.
Kindly answer my all questions.
Dr. Asiya Staff answered 1 week ago
You are a 3rd-semester Architectural Engineering student. The problem is that while you have a soft heart for people, you are also an introvert; when you have to speak in front of others, you feel paralyzed with fear. Now, what should you do? Regarding your first question—how to overcome these fears when you've tried so hard but still haven't succeeded—look, there is no logic in quitting your degree.
Not everyone is an extrovert, and it isn't mandatory to be the 'best' speaker. Even if you aren't performing your public speaking duties perfectly yet, you are at least passing. You might not be a great speaker, but you may be a great listener and a keen perceiver. Know your strengths. Be yourself.
Your second question was about not wanting to sit in places where backbiting is happening, even when those involved are your loved ones. This happens often. When you feel this is occurring, simply get up and leave. This will give everyone the idea that you will not be a part of backbiting.
Thirdly, you mentioned your mother has been in depression and on medication for 25 years, and she is often rude or negative. Until we try to understand her, she won't be able to understand you.
There is a common issue with introverts: they often live in their comfort zones and can seem unconcerned about others. They might discard people, and in turn, people discard them. Take an interest in people. Listen to them, and you will see how desperate people become to talk to you.
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