Finding Peace in Provision: A Parent’s Guide to Children’s Success

You are a working woman, yet I still find confusion in your questions; try to clear your mind. I will answer your questions one by one.

Regarding Witr and Prayer
You used to pray Witr at home, and someone told you that you wouldn't receive the reward unless you prayed behind an Imam. This is not true; it is completely incorrect. You should pray your Fard (obligatory) prayers with the Imam, but you are free to return home and pray Tarawih and Witr there. It is entirely up to you. You may have noticed that some women do not pray Witr at the mosque because they intend to pray it later during Qayam-ul-Lail (night prayers). The only distinction is that praying in the mosque carries a greater reward.

Reassessing Success and Education
All your children are abroad, pious, and well-educated. They are working, and two are married. To say they are "not well-placed" is being unfair to them. Completing education or getting married does not automatically mean one becomes fully independent. Our current education system has turned children into "consumers." In this system, there is a structural need for people not to be independent—because if people became self-sufficient, why would they rely on these institutions?

In a natural system, a child’s earning should start by Matriculation (10th grade), and by Fsc (12th grade), they should be capable of supporting a partner. Nomadic cultures involve their children in work as early as six years old, but we insist they must finish an MBA or MA first. Use your intellect: these are all man-made standards.

Breaking the "White-Collar" Comfort Zone
Things are not as bad as they seem to you. The fact that your children are abroad and have completed their education is no small feat. Give your children the courage to test their own hidden talents. The "white-collar job" criteria is a trap; it makes a person stop struggling and stick to a comfort zone. This is why everyone chases government jobs or stable positions—to coast through the rest of life.

One has to take responsibility; otherwise, someone else will take it for you. It is wonderful that you do Istighfar, remember Allah, and have raised your children with good values. You have brought them this far—now let them navigate the rest.

The Trap of Dependency
I have seen cases where even five years after marriage, children cannot survive without their parents. I feel very disappointed by our methods of upbringing. we are surrounded by Dajjalic trials, which I refer to as "urbanization" and now "technologization." We remain dependent until the day we die. We must break free from this.