Dr. Asiya Staff asked 2 weeks ago
I have an 11-year-old daughter, and dealing with her is becoming very difficult for me. When she is explained anything, she always responds by saying, "I know," or "No, Mom, it's not like that," or "It's fine, I'll do it," or something similar. Essentially, she doesn't take anything seriously.
Secondly, she is very lazy. She does everything very slowly. If she is getting late for school, she has no tension (worry); even if she is getting late for Namaz (prayer), she has no tension. She continues doing all her tasks very slowly.
In addition, she gets very angry. She is very aggressive toward her younger siblings. It's not that she doesn't love them—she does—but she also gets very hyper.
So, could you kindly guide me on how to deal with her?
1 Answers
Dr. Asiya Staff answered 2 weeks ago
Look, your daughter needs emotional regulation.
Before that, your own emotional regulation needs to be in order, and then you will be able to deal with her. Here the matter is not about battle or winning. You will have to fight with her in a good way—meaning she should know that she has to manage herself.
You must have already separated her wardrobe and bed; try to separate things a little more.
The second thing is to sit down with her and create a timetable that can be posted in a corner of her room.
For whatever you tell her (like being late for school, doing homework, not fighting with siblings, etc.), ask her to create her own timetable, decorate it nicely, and put it up in her room.
At night, sit according to that timetable—this is your time to tell her what items she skipped on the schedule.
Consistency is needed, and a little appreciation is needed. If she follows even 50% of the timetable, you must appreciate her.
Believe me, you need to keep your nerves in check, keep yourself in control, and remain calm, for both yourself and your daughter. I highly recommend that you watch Supernanny; it will benefit you greatly because it teaches you how to use the control you possess while remaining calm in these matters.
Our children don't just need love and affection; parents need to make their children disciplined so they can be liberated.
We conducted a parenting course; ask the admin to give you the recordings of that course.
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