Seeking Guidance on Marriage, Early Maturity, and Purposeful Parenting

You have asked several questions, and I will try to answer all of them.
Marriage and Compatibility
The Prophet (PBUH) advised seeing the potential spouse before marriage. If you have questions for a potential partner, ask them in the presence of a Mahram. Do not exceed limits, as it will only create difficulties for you. Allah’s religion is the Truth; it is often our own thinking that is flawed.
Real compatibility cannot truly be tested until you are married. If you must speak, do so in the presence of a Mahram, following the same rules as speaking with any non-Mahram: keep it limited, purposeful, and without frankness.
The Role of a Woman
You mentioned that women are often confined to the home. If a woman wants to work, she should first observe the Hijab and prioritize religious work. She should raise her children and manage her household—many people do this successfully. Such women are incredible mothers; they are true Mujahidas (strugglers for the sake of Allah).
Early Maturity and Marriage
Regarding children's marriage, the reality is that parents have raised their standards and expectations too high. Naturally, children begin to mature between the ages of 7 and 8. If they are raised in a natural environment, face challenges, and interact with people independently, they become very mature by age 10 to 12.
We have all heard that Muhammad bin Qasim conquered Sindh at the age of 16. These are the kinds of children who are molded according to the natural system from age 7 or 8. Modern "producers" benefit when "consumers" (the youth) remain dependent on them for as long as possible.
Balancing Duties and Parenting
I used to plan things carefully; whenever I saw that my children’s religious education was being affected, I would create a plan so that both aspects of life could move forward together without compromise.
Regarding your question about setting boundaries for children, you should take the "Parenting with Purpose" course. Contact the admin to get the recordings. The issue is that parents often think children should figure everything out on their own. No—parents are the "boss." Just as parents maintain a child's food and drink, they must also provide direction for their thoughts. Children look to their parents; if the parents' minds are clear, the children’s minds will become clear too.
Key Parenting Principles
Determine who is the boss: Is it the child's whims, or the parents' vision?
Individuality: A child is a complete individual; he or she is not just an extension of you.
Respect and Effort: Children deserve respect and have rights. It takes as much effort to explain things to a child as it does to an adult.
This approach will provide proper upbringing (Tarbiyah) and instill leadership qualities. In return, it is the parents' eyes that will find comfort and coolness.