Managing Persistent Attention-Seeking in a Toddler

You said it absolutely right that your daughter is 3 years old, and whatever time you give her, she is still seeking attention. Okay, we recently completed a parenting course, and our session was fantastic. In that session, we discussed exactly this: that parents are good leaders, should be creating a system, and they should be kind, considerate, empathetic—everything. We understand all these points, but the problem is how to create balance. We have to create balance by giving our children a certain environment (fizah), and within that very environment, we have to teach them a little independence. We discussed some tips. You can go to the web, and you will find the course. Contact Saira; you can also get the recordings of that course. Remember one thing: whether your child is 3 months old or 3 years old, she is a complete individual. You have to make as many arrangements for her as you would for a whole person. Don't think, "She comes to the corner of my bed, so I'll feed her milk myself." She is not a part of you; she is an individual. For her arrangements, arrange a corner for her—a cot, swings, or make it look like a small room. Okay? Just like I saw a 2 × 2 (two-by-two) area in a hospital. I told my daughter to create something similar in her children's room—a place for a swing, toys, and a writing area. Try to have a shelf if you can, where her wardrobe and clothes are. After that, feed and water your child, take her out (saar kare), and then tell her to play here for two hours. You will see she will feel much better. Since your daughter has the habit of "Mom, feed me," "Mom, entertain me," "Mom, give me excitement," you have to gradually bring her to a "weaning-off" point. When she is away from you, she will gain independence and have good decision-making skills. Talk to Saira and ask for the recordings of "Parenting with Purpose." May Allah make your daughter the coolness of your eyes. Amen